4-WEEK || Grief and Loss on the Boundaries and Consent Journey
with Brooks Herr-Cardillo (they/them)
VIRTUAL: Tuesdays October 22–November 12, 11am–1pm PT / 2–4pm ET, with an optional reunion session December 3, 11am–12pm PT / 2–3pm ET. Please note: USA time zones shift on November 3. International attendees, please double check your local times.
All class sessions will be recorded for students (only the students who signed up before the class start date) to view after each class. The recordings will not be for sale after.
Is this class for you?
Learning about boundaries and consent can bring up a lot of grief as unhealthy relationships fall away, as you grieve how different your life could have been, and reckon with the ways you crossed yours and others' boundaries. This class is for folks experiencing sensations of loss or grief, as they begin to understand and implement boundaries and consent frameworks.
Encountering the world of boundaries and consent work can be a liberating experience. We learn how to describe our needs, share and respect boundaries, say no, express authenticity, parse out power dynamics…
These new skills have a big impact on our lives and our relationships. While we may experience these changes as expansions of our pleasure and freedom, it is also common to encounter grief.
Changing the ways we communicate rocks the boat – it is often challenging for us and for those in our lives to make the transitions smoothly. Boundaries and consent can call into question our family dynamics, our identity and personality traits, our romantic relationships, our workplaces, our friends… It can lift the lid on unheard histories of hurt, or unmet needs in the present.
Losses related to boundaries and consent might feel like…
the severance or ending of a relationship
a change in our feeling of closeness or intimacy
an altered sense of self-trust or self concept
feelings of lost time, shame or regret
a change in our perception of familial dynamics and/or cultural belonging
a yearning to “go back” and live certain moments with greater empowerment, authenticity or self-connection
a yearning to be “through it” - past the tensions and the challenges of renegotiating our relationships
Boundaries and consent frameworks can also give new language to the pervasiveness of nonconsent in dominant culture and systems of oppression. This course will incorporate that as a distinct form of grief, that arises as we deepen into the practice of listening to our own bodies and the bodies of others.
Though we won’t be talking specifically about spaceholding, this class is a deep dive into being a griever… which i think is a foundational skill for providing support. In order to be a grief-competant professional, we have to know grief from the inside - remaining present through our own experiences of loss, and learning to be supported by others/ourselves through them.
This class will cover what grief is, how it functions in the body/heart/mind, how it shows up in daily life, and what support grief generally needs. The class will also include a bonus worksheet with space-holding tools specific to grief/loss, and a list of recommended reading/listening.
So grief space-holders: yes, you are welcome here! But do be prepared to focus this course of study on your own inner experiences / climb in with vulnerability. Later, you can do the work of alchemizing it all into a deeper capacity to hold grief for others.
What will this class cover?
In this 4-part class, we’ll articulate some of the most common “types” of loss as experienced throughout the B&C journey. We’ll discuss the ways that we can hold those losses, and honor the grief they raise in us. I’ll share practices for withstanding and expressing grief… rituals & activities that we can do on our own, or with loved ones to aid the transition.
Requirements / Recs
It’s recommended (but not required) that you’ve taken at least one class with Consent Wizardry, prior to this one. Folding in the Heart will reference basic B&C concepts (such as non-verbals, self-consent, the yes-to-no spectrum) but it will not provide instruction on them. You can check out recorded classes here if you’d like to learn more about the basics, or take the free intro course What Is Consent? You’ll receive the recorded Practice Saying No class and Nonverbals class (a $150 value) before we begin.
That said, I welcome folks who have engaged in this learning through other avenues. There are many different angles, frameworks and languages for learning the intricacies of relating – please join if the course description feels close to home.
Details
Tuesdays October 22 - November 12, 11am–1pm PT / 2–4pm ET, with an optional reunion session December 3, 11am–12pm PT / 2–3pm ET
Please note: USA time zones shift on November 3. International attendees, please double check your local times.
All virtual
This is a hybrid live & recorded class. You’ll receive recordings of Mia’s Practice Saying No class and Nonverbals class (a $150 value) before we begin that will be available to you indefinitely.
Recordings will be available to you, and you only, after each session so it’s okay if you miss one.
Payment + Pricing
This course is $600. Payment plans are available to pay half twice 3 weeks apart.
Sliding scale options starting at $300 are available to those who:
are S€x Workers
have been incarcerated
have excessive medical costs
have debilitating student loans
have ancestors who experienced slavery
live somewhere where the exchange rate makes this course cost-prohibitive
have ancestors who experienced, or have themselves experienced, land theft
need to use it.
Wondering if this scale is for you? It is. Still not sure? It is. Still not sure?? Email Mia. They will say yes.
If this is cost-prohibitive, you are always welcome to make an offer, especially if you are in a country where the exchange rate makes this class financially inaccessible.